July 17, 2008
Not exactly a high class concern, but ...
Don't ask why, but earlier this week, I watched about three-fourths of the series premiere of "Brooke Knows Best." I guess VH1 dreamt up this ridiculous spin-off of "Hogan Knows Best" when Terry "Hulk" Hogan was implicated as the person who purchased alcohol for his 17-year-old son Nick right before the drunk driving accident that landed Nick behind bars and his passenger John Graziano in a vegetative state, and it became obvious Hogan doesn't know best.
Hulk appears in the first episode of "Brooke Knows Best" to help his daughter settle into her Miami apartment. During his visit, the former professional wrestler grills Brooke's gay male roommate, asking him to rank his homosexuality on a scale of one to ten. It's as though Hulk suspects the roommate is masquerading as gay in order to fly under his radar and get into Brooke's gaucho pants. Later in the episode, Hulk presents his daughter with a stockpile of rape preventatives: a rape whistle, pepper spray and even a taser. Hey thanks, patriarchy! The way Hulk keeps vigil over Brooke's virginity is creepy; like one whole lobe of his brain functions as a chastity belt. Maybe if Hulk had been as overly-cautious with his son, John Graziano wouldn't be eating through a tube, and Nancy Grace would have one less thing about which to kvetch.