July 03, 2008
How NASA mooned America
On Tuesday, I had lunch at Schlafly Bottleworks with my boyfriend and his mom. I wanted to order the sardine sandwich but went with the more plebeian choice of smoked turkey, because I didn't want to stink up our table with a sandwich that smells like locker room grout. We talked about our fourth of July plans and the Georgia teenager who was decapitated by a Six Flags roller coaster.
Later that night, Michelle came over and proposed a trip to Ted Drewes, but at the last minute, we decided to walk to Mr. Wizard instead.
In between spoonfuls of my Black Forest concrete, I borrowed all of Bill Kaysing's most convincing arguments and told Michelle how the 1969 lunar landing was probably faked. And she told me about the time she was in second grade, and Jodie Sweetin, the actress who played middle child Stephanie Tanner on Full House, came to the West County mall. I mean, Jodie wasn't shopping for stirrup pants to wear under her BUM Equipment t-shirts; she was actually at the mall signing autographs, which is a pretty weird way to spend your afternoon. Apparently, Michelle's mom, tired of waiting in a long line of rabid Jodie Sweetin fans, told Michelle she would have to content herself with a photo of the child star. So, while Jodie's head was bowed over the Reebok she was autographing, Michelle snapped a picture. She said the next time she came over she'd bring me a copy of the photo (and an Eartha Kitt album). Since Jodie's 1993 mall appearance, she's developed and kicked an addiction to crystal meth; I've gone to San Francisco and walked in the wrong direction for hours in search of the Full House house; and Michelle has forgotten the name of the Tanner family's beloved golden retriever. I had to remind her on the walk back from Mr. Wizard.