June 27, 2008
Smash your soapbox to splinters
I've always hated college radio; I didn't even want to go to college. My parents and I argued about it constantly. They wanted me to go, and I refused. In the end, they won, and I found myself shopping for extra-long bedsheets at Target. Oh, and the sheets had to be pink, so they'd match the comforter my roommate-to-be had purchased from Pottery Barn Teen. I can only assume Webster shredded the roommate compatibility survey I filled out at registration, because I was paired with a girl who was into musicals and color coordination.
On the first day of orientation, my mom was fitting the cotton candy-colored sheets on my extra-long mattress when one of my suitemates came to the door to introduce herself. She was wearing a Dave Matthews Band t-shirt. After she left, I glared pointedly at my parents. My nonverbal message being, "Could college be even lamer than I originally suspected?" I should say that I'm really not the kind of person who judges others based on their taste in music, and actually became close friends with the suitemate sporting the offending tee.
I was even able to overlook the Coldplay poster that hung on her dorm room wall. Chris Martin (the only member of Coldplay whose name I know) is pictured with the words "Free Trade" written in black marker on his hand, a very Eddie Vedder move! I can't stand it when bands with commercial success try to wax political. "Like, we don't just write benign pop songs. We've got substance." That's what I dislike most about college radio - that and the fact that it's like listening to cardboard.
So, when I was standing in line at 7-11 waiting to buy a 20 oz. Gulp and saw Martin's smarmy mug gracing the cover of this month's Rolling Stone , I was grossed out. It's not that I was disappointed, that I give Rolling Stone any credence. How could I? Last month, they named Kirk Hammett one of the all-time best guitar players. It's just that I figured, in 2008, people were pretty much over Martin and his boring music. Wrong! In the cover story, Rolling Stone writer Brian Hiatt actually compares Martin to Jesus Christ. Jesus multiplied fish and loaves of bread. All Chris Martin has done is clog the airwaves with crap. Not exactly an accurate comparison, if you ask me.
Read Buddyhead's hilarious take on the Chris Martin cover here.