July 10, 2006
I think it was in David Rakoff's book "Fraud" that I read an essay about being from the big city and trying to go hiking in vinyl loafers and thereafter detesting the outdoors. Though a great fan of Rakoff's snarky style, I don't get him at all, at least not when it comes to avoiding nature. Though I rarely go camping, floating, et cetera (I think because this city is blessed with so much green space) I do get a 19th-century sort of gnawing to go out into the wilderness from time to time. But this offer from the Missouri Department of Natural Resources (& I quote)
"Anyone camping at a Missouri state park or historic site campground for at least two consecutive nights on an individual campsite in July will receive a promotional certificate good for a free night of camping at any Missouri state park or historic campground..."
Makes me want to go camping for two consecutive days just to get a good look at this so-called free camping certificate. Is it on parchment? Is there a gold seal affixed to it? Is it signed in calligraphy? Does the watermark feature little trees and deer? My rational brain realizes that it probably looks a lot like a coupon you'd clip out of the Sunday paper, but I like imagining it looking like some sort of royal proclamation. Maybe even folded in thirds, and shut with forest-green sealing wax...